Holy swagger mcjagger balls Batman Call of Duty Ghosts just came out and is free on a craigslist ad. The ad reads: Get Call of Duty Ghosts free today and also receive free popsicles and massages. I said holy swagger mcjagger on a sesame seed bun free massages my back is sure killing me. So being a smart Call of Duty player I walked to the man's house. When I got there the house almost looked abandon but I saw a man looking at me through the window he had no teeth and looked like he was 75. I was like wow I hope this guy isn't another pedo. I walked up to his front door and rang the door bell and then he answered saying: "You here for your Call of Duty and free massage and free popsicles? I said yeah I sure am you old fuck fart. He took me down to his Basement were he made me play Cliche3.exe. It had more hyper realistic blood and gore. I was scared and didn't want to play anymore. I tried to escape but the old man shoved his cane up my ass and put a popsicle in my mouth that he got from his ass. It tasted like a 30 year old fart that was shat on by a dog. My ass was sore but I managed to finish the game. When I did the Shamwow guy came out of the screen and bitchslaped me with the towel. He said buy some Shamwow mother fucker. I said but I can go to Costco and get paper towels for dirt cheap you butt licker. He then pulled out a knife and said I will show you how good Shamwow will get your blood out of this fucking carpet. I ran out of the house while the Shamwow guy was still following me. I darted into the woods thinking I lost him but then I noticed he was behind me. He stabbed me once and then said: "Only noobs knife real COD player use sniper rifles at close range. " Then I ran away while bleeding and then collapsed. When I woke up I saw I was in the hospital. I must have lost him otherwise he would have killed me. Then I look out the window and see the Shamwow guy with a bloody towel in his hand and knife.